


Not Giving Up

by ATTHS_TWICE



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Caring, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s07e22 Requiem (X-Files), F/M, Love, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sex, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25682428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATTHS_TWICE/pseuds/ATTHS_TWICE
Summary: Continuation of the conversation in bed in Requiem. What happens next, as they share the grief of the miracle they lost.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 12
Kudos: 122





	Not Giving Up

**Author's Note:**

> Today I saw a post on Twitter of a gif when Scully holds Teresa’s baby and ugh... the way Mulder looks at her, and the subsequent cuddling they do in his room later... well, I had to write something. Hope you enjoy. ❤️

_May 2000_

“There is so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this," he said softly, gently stroking her face as she cried. “There has to be an end, Scully.” 

He kissed her cheek and held her closer, his head on her shoulder. She clasped his hand and pulled it near her mouth, taking a deep steadying breath. She heard him whisper her name and she swallowed down a sob. 

“You can’t ask me to leave, Mulder,” she whispered. “Not without you.” He let out a breath and she kissed his hand. “I… you can’t ask me to do that.” 

“Scully…” 

“No.” 

They fell silent and she closed her eyes, another tear escaping, despite her efforts to stop them. She drew in a deep breath and shook her head, squeezing his hand as she let it out. 

“Why are you asking me to leave?” she whispered and he exhaled. 

“I’m not. Not exactly. I just… seeing you with that baby, Scully…” He sighed, his breath against her cheek. “You… deserve a home full of children, if that is what you want. Little shoes on the floor, toys scattered everywhere-”

“Mulder, stop. Please,” she said with a sob, the image too painful when all there ever would be was an empty apartment. No happy sounds of children, or even one child. Not ever. 

He pulled her tighter and she cried, hearing his deep breaths, knowing he was crying too. Drawing in ragged breaths, she stopped her tears, wiping at them almost angrily. 

“It wasn’t meant to be. We tried and…” 

“Scully…” 

“We…” She choked on a sob and he pulled his hand from her grasp, and rose from the bed. She turned her head, crying into the pillow as he pulled the covers back, the pictures upon it slid without care to the floor. 

His arms were around her again, pulling her close, the blankets no longer a barrier between them. The warmth of his body, his arms, the scent of him, caused her to cry even harder as she could hear him whispering her name. 

She would be lying, to herself and to him, if she said that holding Teresa’s baby had not made her feel something, as much as she tried to hide it. The weight of him, the sweet unmistakable baby smell, his soft head… she had ached as she held him. 

When Teresa had brought them Ray’s medical files, she had motioned to take him back, but Scully had insisted she should explain the files to Mulder. Teresa had smiled and walked away, taking the files to the table and spreading them out to show Mulder. Scully had only half listened as she walked around the room with the baby, pushing down the images of a life she would never have, even as they tried their damndest to rise to the surface. She had smiled through the pain, ignoring it as she did the large lump in her throat. 

“I… I didn’t know it was truly something I even wanted… not until…” She breathed and he sighed heavily. 

“I know. I know, Scully. And I… I wish I could have given you what you wanted. I hoped it would work.” 

“I know…” she whispered, her tears subsiding. He kissed the side of her neck and she took a deep breath as his leg hooked over hers, pulling her closer. 

Silent again, she shook her head, imagining the baby they would have created. Boy or girl, he would have spoiled it, and insisted on teaching it everything he knew. 

By the time she had the procedure, he had almost known more than she did about IVF; reading books and finding out information to share with her. If it had been successful, he would have been there for everything, driving her crazy with every new thing he would have discovered about pregnancy… 

“No,” she said forcefully, needing those thoughts out of her head. 

“No, what?” he whispered and she shook her head. They had cried about that enough, she was not going to continue dwelling on it. 

“No, Mulder. I’m not leaving,” she repeated just as forcefully and he sighed. “My place is here with you. This is my job… and it’s… it’s where my heart lies. I can’t leave. Not without you.” She shook her head again and he nodded against hers. 

“Wouldn’t really be getting away then, if we both go,” he teased softly, attempting to lighten the mood. 

“Exactly right,” she whispered, closing her eyes again. 

“You jump, I jump?” 

“Mulder…” She shook her head and opened her eyes, turning over to face him. 

His eyes were sad, despite his attempt at humor. Placing a hand on his cheek, she shook her head, staring into his eyes. He closed them, took a deep breath and pressed his forehead to hers. 

“I don’t want you to leave, Scully. I do… but I don’t. I… I just want you safe.” 

“You think I’m not?” 

“I… I don’t know what to think. Being here, seeing those who had been taken, having a better life… a _happy_ life… I just…” He shook his head slightly and she closed her eyes. 

“I’ve had a happy life, Mulder. I _have_ a happy life. A baby… a baby isn’t… wouldn’t lessen the happiness I’ve had.” 

“But it could add to it,” he said softly, and she sighed, unable to argue with him. 

“Still not leaving though, even if that were a possibility that was attainable.” He sighed and she moved her hand to his neck, stroking his cheek with her thumb. “Not on my own.” 

“Where would we go?” he whispered and she smiled slightly at hearing the _we_. 

“Someplace warm? Isolated?” she suggested and he hummed. 

“Would you be bringing a bikini along?” he asked softly and she exhaled a breathy laugh as he did the same. 

“If we’re isolated, would I really need the bikini?” 

“It’s all about the anticipation, Scully. The bikini represents a goal, something to work for,” he explained, his hand lightly stroking her hip. 

“But you already know what’s _under_ said bikini. There’s no mystery there.” 

“Well, that’s technically true, but it’s the anticipation, like I said. It’s thinking about what’s just under it. Hmm, that’s the good stuff.” 

“Hmm..” She hummed and let out a sigh, both of them once again falling silent. 

“But you won’t leave,” she whispered and he stiffened. They both knew she was right. Of course she was. 

“We’re so close, Scully. Back where it all started. That’s gotta mean something.” She sighed and pulled back, opening her eyes to stare at him as he opened his own. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Mulder. Not now. Not ever.” 

“Scully… I…” 

“Shhh,” she said, placing a finger against his lips. “You stay, I stay. I’m not leaving you here alone.” He nodded and kissed her finger, his eyes searching hers. 

“You stay, I stay,” he agreed in a whisper and she smiled sadly at him. “I love you.” 

She stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly, his words surprising her, although they should not have. Of course he loved her, it was not as though she did not know, but hearing it, seeing it in his eyes, she was taken aback. Tears filled her eyes as she cupped his cheek, swallowing hard as she tried to formulate the words and say them back. 

“Scully,” he breathed, his grip on her hip tightening, his leg rising higher. He smiled so softly, it nearly broke her heart. 

“I love you. God, Mulder. I love you so much.” She burrowed into his neck, crying with happiness, as he rubbed his hand up and down her back. 

When she was able, she pulled back, staring into his eyes again before she kissed him. Gently, chastely, until his tongue touched hers and it was like an explosion. 

Clothes were removed and thrown to the floor, until they were skin to skin, his lips at her clavicle, her fingers in his hair. He entered her in one thrust and she gasped as she clung to him.

A slow rhythm was established, their eyes on each other the entire time. When she broke, she arched up, breaking their eye contact and digging her nails into his arms. He slowed, allowing her to catch her breath and her grip to slacken. Looking into his eyes again, she nodded, and he once more began to move. 

She listened to his breathing, the way he would hold it when he was getting close. She cried out as she felt him swell deep inside of her. A few more thrusts and he stilled, calling her name as he crashed over the edge. 

He lay atop her, breathing hard into her neck, her limbs wrapped around him as her heart raced. Her body hummed with pleasure and she exhaled heavily, closing her eyes as she did. 

“Scully,” he breathed, kissing her throat, and raising his head. She opened her eyes, staring at him with a small smile. Kissing her softly, his tongue lazily stroking hers, she moaned into his mouth. 

Pulling back, she held his face, kissing him once more before he began to move. He kissed her stomach as he rose up and she gently caressed his head. He smiled as he stood up and she smiled back, her hands roaming over her body. 

“So beautiful,” he said, shaking his head and she hummed, closing her eyes briefly. 

They both used the bathroom, picked up their clothes and the photos that had been pushed to the floor, and got back in bed. Scully lay on her side with Mulder behind, his arms wrapped around her. 

One hand moved low on her stomach and stayed there, his fingers splaying out. She covered his hand with her own and bit her lip. 

“Mulder. Please,” she whispered, not ready to think about it all again. It was done. The universe had given her her answer. 

“I’m not giving up on the possibility of that miracle.” he whispered back. “Not just yet.” She held tighter to his hand as she closed her eyes. “Miracles happen every day, Scully. Why can’t that day be today?” 

Taking a shuddering breath, she nodded, her fingers lacing with his as she prayed for a miracle she knew she would never receive. 


End file.
